And thus the scene is set by dedicated non-lefty George Gurley in his latest New York Observer profile, “The Avenging Alterman.”
But as we shall see the question of who is “avenging” whom is an open one.
As does anyone the upper-crust rag considers worthwhile.
In other words: “Why isn’t he a Republican?”
Aha, so he’s “trouble.” Michael Kelly’s friends and colleagues didn’t use those terms to describe him. That’s because he was an arrogant intolerable asshole in print.
And so we get down to brass tacks. NPR not liberal? Shocking, is it not? And here he is eating fois gras and Kobe beef, downing it with pinot noir! And those “fish-like eyes”!
We get the picture. It’s Peter Lorre in M !
One wonders while Calvin Klein is stumbling about basketball courts these days. Clearly he should become a political columnist.
“Even”? With all this name-dropping it’s shocking that Gurley didn’t list them.
Earth to Gurley: Bill Maher is not a leftist!
Earth to Frank Rich: Faux News is most of all propaganda.
Ah but as much as I love Eric he’ll never be Cassius Clay. Thank goodnes there’s a William Klein retrospective going on in New York right now with his amazing film Muhammed Ali — The Greatest being screened. It’s a stunning reminder of how far we’ve fallen in forty years.
“I had a lot of reasons to be anti-war, and the book was a small one,” he said. “Everything was dominated by the war, and still is.”
On The Daily Show on Comedy Central, Mr. Alterman told Jon Stewart that he thought there was more diversity in the Soviet Union under Stalin than on American talk radio today.
“Come on now,” Mr. Stewart said. “Now, I may have a great leaning toward your point of view–but Stalin? Now you’re just throwing crazy stuff out there!”
Actually he’s right. I am especially reminded of life under Stalin with today’s pictures from Iraq, with statues of Saddam Hussein being torn down — just like in the opening of Eisenstein’s October.
I doubt that George W. Bush would sponsor the making of an Ivan the Terrible — even though we’ve got such modern Eisensteins as Todd Haynes and Gus Van Sant
“Coulter’s book is evil,” he said.
(Ms. Coulter told me she’d “never read anything” by Mr. Alterman and added, “I hear he’s practically become my newest stalker.”)
Mr. Alterman looked around the restaurant.
With those “fish eyes” of his. My that must have been scary!
Why was it good to be a liberal in 2003?
“There’s two reasons,” he said. “One is, if you’re a liberal about most things, you’re more likely to be right than not. But here’s an interesting reason: The rest of the country agrees with you. It’s basically a liberal country.”
(Another good reason might be that casting directors from The Sopranos know your name: A few weeks ago, Georgianne Walken e-mailed Mr. Alterman and asked if he would audition; The Sopranos was looking for someone to play a TV reporter. “I said, ‘Sure-provided this is not an April Fool’s joke,’” he said. “They faxed me my lines the next morning.” He auditioned for Sopranos creator David Chase-as did New Republic literary editor Leon Wieseltier and journalist Philip Gourevitch. But the tweedy would-be thespians lost out to a writer from the show, who got the part.)
And so for Gurley what’s important is not what the country actually thinks about our national policies, but what David Chase thinks about Eric.
“I don’t know that,” he said. “I agree that the editorial page is against Bush …. I’m against Bush. I don’t want the war to fail. I want Bush to resign in ignominy-and the war to be a great success.”
Earth to Eric — while the former may well be possible, the latter will never come to pass.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he said. “They endorsed George Pataki! Look at what this man is doing to New York City. I have a daughter in New York City public schools. He’s destroying them!”
After a few more mouthfuls of Kobe beef, I again asserted that The Times under executive editor Howell Raines was a liberal tool.
“Well, why did Howell hate Clinton so much, then?” Mr. Alterman said. “Why did he love Ken Starr and hate Bill Clinton? He liked Ken Starr. You can’t be a liberal and like Ken Starr. He loved Ken Starr. It’s like liking Idi Amin.
You’re not going to get Eric to choke on his Kobe beef so easily, George!
Because people were complaining about him?
“Nobody was complaining about him–people loved him. This is New York; this is the Upper West Side! Because there’s no goddamn conspiracy-that’s why!”
Note the “no.” Very clever, Eric.
OH MY GOD! A “GATEWAY DRUG”!!!
Frankly I don’t understand the Springsteen stuff myself. I’ve been trying to get Eric to pay more attention to Lorenz Hart, to little avail.
“I can’t risk being accused of dropping names of famous people,” he said. “We were very close until he died. I felt enormously lucky for that. We used to go to the movies. I was friends with his wife. He would tell me stories about hanging out with Albert Einstein. He’s sort of my external conscience. I often ask myself, ‘What would Izzy do?’”
Yet this is precisely the sort of name-dropping The New York Observer lives for.
Only to castigate the dropper.
This is by far the most interesting remark in the interview. Why monsters like Atwater are found to be “fun” by writers with far greater scruples (any scruples) deserves a book all by itself.
To promote the book, he appeared on The Today Show and The Tonight Show.
“I was more famous then,” he said. “When I was still in graduate school, I had my 15 minutes. And now I’m not that impressed with myself.”
“I don’t think that he had a sophomore slump after Sound and the Fury,” said a friend. “But I think he expected to be big and famous after it.”
But that’s apples and oranges, unnamed “friend.” Eric said he was “impressed with myself.” Quite a different matter than the vagaries of fame.
Look who’s stalking!
And this should, of course, make him desirable to The New York Observer. Imagine that — Vanity Fair — Hitchens’ stomping grounds.
No cum-stained blue GAP dress for you, honey!
Just what is it about interns anyway?
“He would call and be relatively demanding about silly little things–messengers for this or car service for that,” she said.
Now they’re close friends.
“I’ll poke fun at him now and say, ‘You were just one of those snotty writers that assistants hate,’” Ms. Rosman said. “And he says, ‘I was just doing it on purpose. I thought I was being funny!’”
“He has shocked me with the things he’s done,” she said. “He’ll call me and his line is, ‘So, do you want to be arm candy tonight?’ I’ll ask him what the event is, and he won’t tell me-I have to decide before. And then he’s taking me to George Soros’ apartment or some New Yorker party, and he introduces me to everybody. So I really admire him for that. He takes me to good parties.”
Surely a hanging offense. A serious journalist who likes to go out with attractive women? How rude!
Maybe there is a blue GAP dress in your future, young lady!
His place is decorated with the usual “New York semi-single male” stuff-photos of Sinatra, Babe Ruth at bat, Springsteen, arty naked-lady pics, Mets stuff. “
So are we supposed to offer him decorating tips now?
There’s a division between the two? In Eric’s mind or Gurley’s?
Which is the only question that really matters to the Gurleys of this world.
Ah but there are all kinds of enemies worth making, Eric!
Took the words right out of my keypad!
“He has some sort of obsession with me, which I suppose is flattering,” Mr. Cockburn said. “I’ve never known a fellow to unify so many otherwise mutually antagonistic people in dislike of him. Long ago, I concluded his stuff is worthless-one more bedraggled little plume on the funeral hearse of the Democratic Party. The furthest I’ve gone is to call him a twerp-part brown-noser, part cheeky chappy.
I must admit to liking the “bedraggled plume” bit. But I’m a sucker for metaphor.
“He’s very hard to understand,” said a friend of Mr. Alterman’s who did not wish to be identified. “Because he really is an unbelievable asshole and a really, really great person. He is the worst name-dropper in the world-because he only uses first names. He’ll say, ‘Oh, I had dinner with Paul [Newman] and Joanne last night …. ‘ He is a huge literary starfucker.”
No wonder this “friend” chose to go nameless. Can we get serious here? Calling the Newmans “Paul and Joanne” is a crime?
Nope. It’s eating Kobe beef that’s the crime! Clearly Eric should be a vegetarian. Right Mr. Gurley? That way you could turn him into a wussier Al Gore rather than a failed Bill Clinton (of which more shortly).
Wonder if Eric has seen Rossellini’s La Prise de Pouvoir par Louis XIV ?
And so as the dishes are cleared away, night falls on Manhattan, and bombs fall on Baghdad, Eric Alerman has the unmitigated gall to find a waitress attractive.
Yes, it’s The Politics of the penis once again. It all started with Bill Clinton’s Penis. Now it’s Eric’s. Soon it’ll be every penis for itself!
Damn those Liberals! No waitress is safe!
