Well a symbol of something anyway. It keeps changing, and we’ll be sure to let you know what it is . . . if we have the time.
All quite different circumstances and different reasons, but I’m here to gloss over that.
Actually it stood for Someone Other Than Donald and therefore was expendable.
(as if I cared.)
Ah but we who traffic in Shock and Awe are Liberators!
Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Actually there’s no ground at all. Just a lotta rubble.
And all nations that fight terror as if the lives of their own people depend on it will earn the favorable judgment of history.
Because we no longer need it.
Docile shills that they are.
Though we supplied them with chemical weapons and weren’t very upset when they used them back when My Daddy was runnin’ things.
But that’s in the past.
And because there were consequences, because a coalition of nations acted to defend the peace and the credibility of the United Nations, Iraq is free. And today we are joined by representatives of a liberated country.”
Weren’t those pictures of statues falling over exciting?
Especially those rape rooms. Betcha Heff doesn’t have one of those at the Playboy mansion!
Across Iraq, life is being improved by liberty.”
And we’ll fix those buildings, roads and getcha electricity and running water just as soon as we can. Promise!
Across the world, nations are more secure because an ally of terror has fallen.”
Though they’re a tad upset about us.
All two of them.
Yet there was, and there remains, unity among us on the fundamental principles and objectives of the United Nations. We are dedicated to the defense of our collective security and to the advance of human rights.
These permanent commitments call us to great work in the world, work we must do together. So let us move forward.”
And blah, blah, blah.
The United Nations has been a friend of the Afghan people, distributing food and medicine, helping refugees return home, advising on a new constitution and helping to prepare the way for nationwide elections.
NATO has taken over the U.N.-mandated security force in Kabul. American and coalition forces continue to track and defeat Al Qaeda terrorists and remnants of the Taliban. Our efforts to rebuild that country go on.”
(Whoever writes this shit deserves a raise. Neat, ain’t it?)
That’s a name the folks in Georgia and Montana know — UNICEF
Somebody’s gotta do it.
Of course that precision makes for a lot of collateral damage, but what the hell.
Though he never had them. But we sure made ya think he did, eh? We’re so smart!
We are training Iraqi police and border guards and a new army, so the Iraqi people can assume full responsibility for their own security.
And at the same time, our coalition is helping to improve the daily lives of the Iraqi people.
The old regime built palaces while letting schools decay. So we are rebuilding more than 1,000 schools.
The old regime starved hospitals of resources. So we have helped to supply and reopen hospitals across Iraq.
The old regime built up armies and weapons while allowing the nation’s infrastructure to crumble. So we are rehabilitating power plants, water and sanitation facilities, bridges and airports.”
And we’re gonna bring in the Fab Five to redecorate.
Just a little humor there, folks.
Having helped to liberate Iraq, we will honor our pledges to Iraq. And by helping the Iraqi people build a stable and peaceful country, we will make our own countries more secure.”
This process must unfold according to the needs of Iraqis — neither hurried nor delayed by the wishes of other parties.
And the United Nations can contribute greatly to the cause of Iraq self-government. “
Cause we’ve plumb run outta ideas.
Just like in Florida.
Yet every young democracy needs the help of friends. Now the nation of Iraq needs and deserves our aid. And all nations of good will should step forward and provide that support.
Success of a free Iraq will be watched and noted throughout the region. Millions will see that freedom, equality and material progress are possible at the heart of the Middle East.
Leaders in the region will face the clearest evidence that free institutions and open societies are the only path to long-term national success and dignity. And a transformed Middle East would benefit the entire world by undermining the ideologies that export violence to other lands.”
Hope you folks are stayin’ awake for this part. I know it’s boring.
The advance of democratic institutions in Iraq is setting an example that others, including the Palestinian people, would be wise to follow.
The Palestinian cause is betrayed by leaders who cling to power by feeding old hatreds and destroying the good work of others.
The Palestinian people deserve their own state. And they will gain that state by embracing new leaders committed to reform, to fighting terror and to building peace.”
When we come up with them. What’s Hitchens’ cell phone number? He’s got tons of good ideas.
Israel must work to create the conditions that will allow a peaceful Palestinian state to emerge, and Arab nations must cut off funding and other support for terrorist organizations.
America will work with every nation in the region that acts boldly for the sake of peace.”
You know the drill.
Outlaw regimes that possess nuclear, chemical and biological weapons and the means to deliver them would be able to use blackmail and create chaos in entire regions. These weapons could be used by terrorists to bring sudden disaster and suffering on a scale we can scarcely imagine.
The deadly combination of outlaw regimes and terror networks and weapons of mass murder is a peril that cannot be ignored or wished away. If such a danger is allowed to fully materialize, all words, all protests will come too late.
Nations of the world must have the wisdom and the will to stop great threats before they arrive.”
Like in Korea. We’ve sure got them under control.
For more than a decade, the United States has worked with Russia and other states of the former Soviet Union to dismantle, destroy or secure weapons and dangerous materials left over from another era.
Last year in Canada, the G-8 nations agreed to provide up to $20 billion, half of it from the United States, to fight this proliferation risk over the next 10 years. Since then, six additional countries have joined the effort. More are needed. And I urge other nations to help us meet this danger.
We’re also improving our capability to interdict lethal materials in transit. Through our proliferation security initiative, 11 nations are preparing to search planes and ships, planes and trucks carrying suspect cargo, and to seize weapons or missile shipments that raise proliferation concerns.
These nations have agreed on a set of interdiction principles consistent with current legal authorities, and we’re working to expand the proliferation security initiative to other countries. We are determined to keep the world’s most destructive weapons away from all our shores and out of the hands of our common enemies.
Because proliferators will use any route or channel that is open to them, we need the broadest possible cooperation to stop them.”
The United States stands ready to help any nation draft these new laws and to assist in their enforcement.”
Sounds good, don’t it? Even if it don’t mean shit.
The United States has begun to carry out the emergency plan for AIDS relief aimed at preventing AIDS on a massive scale and treating millions who have the disease already. We have pledged $15 billion over five years to fight AIDS around the world.”
And you know how cheap talk can be. We don’t actually have the $15 billion. Just the pledge for it.
And we’ll get around to feeding those Iraqui peasants right away too.
Now don’t go gettin’ a stiffy while I’m tellin’ you this!
Though I hear those Thailand vacation tours are really somethin’ special.
So those Log Cabin boys better watch their step.
Today, some nations make it a crime to sexually abuse children abroad. Such conduct should be a crime in all nations. Government should inform travelers of the harm this industry does and the severe punishments that will fall on its patrons.”
Even if they’re Catholic priests.
Well maybe I’ll make some exceptions.
We must show new energy in fighting back an old evil. Nearly two centuries after the abolition of the trans-Atlantic slave trade and more than a century after slavery was officially ended in its last strongholds, the trade in human beings for any purpose must not be allowed to thrive in our time.
All the challenges I have spoken of this morning require urgent attention and moral clarity. Helping Afghanistan and Iraq to succeed as free nations in a transformed region, cutting off the avenues of proliferation, abolishing modern forms of slavery — these are the kind of great tasks for which the United Nations was founded. In each case, careful discussion is needed. And also decisive action.”
And tell Spielberg this would all make a much better movie than Amistad. Fell asleep during that one. Even with that Matthew McBongo fella in the cast.
The founding documents of the United Nations and the founding documents of America stand in the same tradition.
Both assert that human beings should never be reduced to objects of power or commerce, because their dignity is inherent.
Both recognize a moral law that stands above men and nations, which must be defended and enforced by men and nations.
And both point the way to peace, the peace that comes when all are free.
We secure the peace with our courage, and we must show that courage together.”
Yeah, that just about covers it, don’t it Karl?
Cause you’re sure as hell gonna need it!