Daily Archives: November 22, 2005

This just in from Ratskiwatski

The Vatican says homosexuals who are sexually active or support “gay culture” are unwelcome in the priesthood unless they have overcome their homosexual tendencies for at least three years, according to a church document posted on the Internet by an Italian Catholic news agency.
The long-awaited document is scheduled to be released by the Vatican on Nov. 29. A church official who has read the document confirmed the authenticity of the Internet posting by the Adista news agency.
The document said that “the church, while deeply respecting the people in question, cannot admit to the seminary and the sacred orders those who practice homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies or support so-called gay culture.”

“They were all ready to ordain you, Scott — then His Holiness found THIS in your room!”

“Those people find themselves, in fact, in a situation that presents a grave obstacle to a correct relationship between men and women. One cannot ignore the negative consequences that can stem from the ordination of people with deeply rooted homosexual tendencies,” it said.

Or the grave consequences of getting dropped from distribution by Disney.

“If instead it is a case of homosexual tendencies that are merely the expression of a transitory problem, for example as in the case of an unfinished adolescence,

( Apparently His Holiness has been reading Leslie Fiedler)

they must however have been clearly overcome for at least three years before ordination as a deacon.”

“My advice would be to avoid motorcycle rides from well-proportioned young men.”

Vatican prohibitions on active homosexuals becoming priests are not new.

And they mean so much, don’t they?

A key 1961 Vatican document on selecting candidates for the priesthood made clear homosexuals should be barred.
However, the sex abuse scandal among priests in the United States and elsewhere has led some to call for new restrictions.

All together now (especially you in the back row! )

“First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect and
Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect
Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff
Everybody say his own kyrie eleison
Doin’ the Vatican Rag
Get in line in that processional
Step into that small confessional
There, the guy who’s got religion’ll
Tell you if your sin’s original
If it is, try playin’ it safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six, eight
Time to transubstantiate
So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect and
Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect
Make a cross on your abdomen
When in Rome do like a Roman
Ave Maria, gee it’s good to see ya
Gettin’ ecstatic an’ sorta dramatic an’
Doin’ the Vatican Rag”