Daily Archives: February 19, 2006

“When the only sound in the empty street,
Is the heavy tread of the heavy feet
That belong to a lonesome cop
I open shop.

When the moon so long has been gazing down
On the wayward ways of this wayward town.
That her smile becomes a smirk,
I go to work.

Love for sale,
Appetising young love for sale.
Love that’s fresh and still unspoiled,
Love that’s only slightly soiled,
Love for sale.

Who will buy?
Who would like to sample my supply?
Who’s prepared to pay the price,
For a trip to paradise?
Love for sale

Let the poets pipe of love
in their childish way,
I know every type of love
Better far than they.

If you want the thrill of love,
I’ve been through the mill of love;
Old love, new love
Every love but true love

Love for sale.
Appetising young love for sale.
If you want to buy my wares.
Follow me and climb the stairs
Love for sale.
Love for sale.
Love for sale”

said Cole Porter bluntly.

Our “mainsream” media takes a gentler tack.

“DALLAS, Texas (AP) — A man running for state representative acknowledged that he once worked as a prostitute but said he’s turned his life around and doesn’t regret his past.
Tom Malin, who has also sold Mary Kay cosmetics and now markets electricity, conceded that his illicit past could cost him the nomination in the March 7 Democratic primary.
“I’ve made mistakes in my life, and I’ve stood before my creator and I’ve accepted responsibility for my behavior,” Malin said in Friday’s Dallas Morning News.”

The standing before one’s creator bit is the most amusing. Can’t you just see it?

“Oh LORD, I have SINNED! I have SOLD MY BODY! And what’s worse I HAVE SOLD MARY KAY COSMETICS!!!”

“On his campaign Web page, Malin said he is ‘committed to giving our families a voice in Austin, with a focus on education, the economy, and restoring a ‘spirit of ethics’ to our State House.’
He said he would stay in the race.
“I don’t regret my past, nor do I wish to shut the door on my past,” he said. “I think anyone who has made mistakes in their lives can be a viable member of community and society.’ “

Especially if you know how to apply your base.
But what’s this bit about families? What families? The kind Rosie O’Donnell wants to take on vacation cruises?

“Malin, a former member of the Dallas Citizens Police Review Board, is a managing director for the marketing arm of a Dallas electricity provider, his Web site says.
Malin said he’s been sober for 13 years after being addicted to alcohol and suffering an abusive childhood.”

“What a story. Everything but the hound dogs yappin’ at her rear end.”

Moreover what sort of”electricity” is Malin interested in providing?

“The Dallas Tejano Democrats endorsed Malin on Thursday, before learning of his past. ‘Obviously we will have to reconsider our decision based on the new information,’ Chairman Domingo Garcia said.
Malin faces retired salesman Jack Borden in the Democratic primary. The winner will run against incumbent Republican Dan Branch in November to represent a district covering much of central Dallas.”

So what’s really going on here? According to Malin’s website–

“District 108 comprises much of the ” Heart of Dallas ” including
Downtown, Uptown, Turtle Creek, much of Oak Lawn, Deep Ellum,
The Swiss Avenue area, Highland Park, University Park, The M Streets,
The Village, and Greenway Parks

The current Population of District 108 is 138,092
The Voting Age Population of District 108 is 110,470.
Voters currently ‘ registered to vote ‘ in District 108 is 67,835.
Anglos comprise 59.6% of the District, Blacks 5.5%,
Hispanics 31.2%, Asians/Others comprise 4 %.
Voter Turnout was 55.4% in 2002 and 79.2% in 2004.”

His CV notes —

“Tom Malin was born in Dallas, Texas
and has deep roots in District 108, Tom is a 4th generation
resident of the district. Tom attended Dan Rogers Elementary
and is a 3rd generation honors graduate of Woodrow Wilson High.
Tom is committed to giving our families a voice in Austin,
with a focus on Education, the Economy, and restoring
a “Spirit of Ethics” to our State House.
Tom’s success as an entrepreneur has included being a Mary Kay
Independent Senior Sales Director and Pink Cadillac Driver.
Tom was recognized as one of the top recruiters and sellers with
Mary Kay and one of only 3 men to ever earn the use of the
highly coveted Pink Cadillac.
Tom currently is a Ignite Energy Managing Director;
a direct sales organization and the marketing arm of Stream Energy.
As an actor, Tom appeared in Television, Film, and Stage Productions
including Guiding Light; Sex and The City; The Sopranos; Spin City;
Law and Order; Saturday Night Live; Passions; Frasier;
Turtle Creek Chorale Guest Artist; When Pigs Fly; & Dinner at Eight.
Tom’s Community Involvement includes the Cattle Barons Ball,
Turtle Creek Association, Turtle Creek Chorale, Dallas Citizens’
Police Review Board, Dallas Civil Service Board, and is a Member
of the Highland Park United Methodist Church.
Additionally, Tom supports the Democratic National Committee,
the Stonewall Democrats of Dallas, the Young Democrats of Dallas,
The Friends of Katy Trail, the Human Rights Campaign, and
the Dallas/Fort Worth Federal Club of HRC.
Education:
University of North Texas; B.S. Hospitality Management
New York University- Graduate Studies in Musical Theatre.”

And so, not getting anywhere in particular in theater, film and television he enters politics armed with a “Spirit of Ethics” — which is certainly required when selling one’s services, as
Gucky well knows.

Malin is running as a Democrat. But does that making him any less he Publisexual than Gucky?

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” –Jesus Christ

Dubbya’s favorite “philosopher” doncha know.

“I would first like to thank the thousands of religious leaders, friends, supporters and voters for their prayers and well wishes.
This has obviously been a difficult time for my family and
we appreciate all that you have done for us.

When I decided to run for public office I feared all too well that my past would become an issue in this campaign and I forged ahead knowing that the message was paramount to anything that could be said about me.
I am a human being with a flawed past. I have made mistakes and have made amends; changed my behavior. I stood before my Creator years ago and asked for His forgiveness, grace and redemption. I was born again and feel as if He has granted me a second chance in life and I thank God every day that I am alive and that I am able to dedicate my life to teaching others, enriching lives and acting as a vehicle of empowerment. “

A human SUV.

“Who I am today speaks far greater than what anyone can say about me.
Life is about choices and I choose a life wrapped in grace, forgiveness and unconditional love. I have turned my back from shame, guilt and condemnation. I have embraced that the truth will indeed set you free. I am a free man. Today I am the man whom God intended me to be. I have no regrets about my past leading me to the space I am in now.”

Never apologize. Never explain. Just yell “Praise Jesus!” and fall on your knees.

No, not for a blow-job, although in politics. . .

“This election is not about me personally, it is about job creation, tax reform, education, and ethics.”

Boilerplate Republican “issues” one and all. Kind of like Jay Bulworth

“We have fallen short of our ideal with regard to education funding. The state is not receiving a fair and equitable education system. We have fallen short in property tax distribution and collection. Our tax payers are investing in a faulty system and receiving a negative return on that investment. Our economy continues to fall short and job growth can be so much better.

Families have been laid off 3 – 4 times over the past 10 years and the middle class has continued to shrink and more families are falling into poverty. We have stumbled and need to get back on the right track. Our leaders continue to fight and tear each other apart when we should be lifting each other up and building a system of values.”

Nothing like a whore when it comes to emphasizing values.

“We have been charged to love our brothers and sisters and treat them the way we would want to be treated. I have fallen short in my life, learned from my past and dedicated myself to serving others. My life is about receiving redemption, picking myself up and moving ahead.”

Whereas before it was about picking people up and moving on after you’d finished “doing” them.

“This nation was built on people wanting more for their lives,
starting over, receiving grace, second chances and new beginnings. “

Through mass genocide.

“This story has touched a nerve in our district and I feel that together we can pick ourselves up and move forward and do more
for the residents of this district.”

A chicken in every pot and a blow-job with every chicken.

“The voters deserve a chance to choose at the ballot box.
Do we continue to fall short or do we make a new choice,
pick ourselves up, receive redemption and give back to our
teachers and tax payers?
Pick ourselves up and move forward and truly leave no family behind?
Pick ourselves up and reform government?
Today I choose to move forward with my life and serve others.
I look forward to serving this district in Austin with integrity
and character based in love, forgiveness and grace.
I would first like to thank the thousands of religious leaders, friends, supporters and voters for their prayers and well wishes.
This has obviously been a difficult time for my family and
we appreciate all that you have done for us.”

Again with the “family”! What”family”? Identify its members.

We’ll wait.

“When I decided to run for public office I feared all too well that my past would become an issue in this campaign and I forged ahead knowing that the message was paramount to anything that could be said about me.
I am a human being with a flawed past. I have made mistakes and have made amends; changed my behavior. I stood before my Creator years ago and asked for His forgiveness, grace and redemption. I was born again and feel as if He has granted me a second chance in life and I thank God every day that I am alive and that I am able to dedicate my life to teaching others, enriching lives and acting as a vehicle of empowerment.”

So if he was “Born Again” what’s he doing running as a Democrat? Unless of course it was simply the opportunity to grab an open seat and worry about actual party affiliation later.

“Who I am today speaks far greater than what anyone can say about me.
Life is about choices and I choose a life wrapped in grace, forgiveness and unconditional love. I have turned my back from shame, guilt and condemnation. I have embraced that the truth will indeed set you free. I am a free man. Today I am the man whom God intended me to be. I have no regrets about my past leading me to the space I am in now.”

Boilerplate Fundiespeak.First you sin, then you repent.

Rinse and repeat.

“This election is not about me personally, it is about job creation, tax reform, education, and ethics. We have fallen short of our ideal with regard to education funding. The state is not receiving a fair and equitable education system. We have fallen short in property tax distribution and collection. Our tax payers are investing in a faulty system and receiving a negative return on that investment. Our economy continues to fall short and job growth can be so much better.”

And a whore knows how to do better?

“Families have been laid off 3 – 4 times over the past 10 years and the middle class has continued to shrink and more families are falling into poverty. We have stumbled and need to get back on the right track. Our leaders continue to fight and tear each other apart when we should be lifting each other up and building a system of values.”

Kind of like Joanne Dru in the last reel of Red River

“We have been charged to love our brothers and sisters and treat them the way we would want to be treated. I have fallen short in my life, learned from my past and dedicated myself to serving others. My life is about receiving redemption, picking myself up and moving ahead.”

Insert Fred and Ginger doing “Pick Yourself Up” in Swingtime.

“This nation was built on people wanting more for their lives,
starting over, receiving grace, second chances and new beginnings.
This story has touched a nerve in our district and I feel that together we can pick ourselves up and move forward and do more
for the residents of this district.

The voters deserve a chance to choose at the ballot box.
Do we continue to fall short or do we make a new choice,
pick ourselves up, receive redemption and give back to our
teachers and tax payers?
Pick ourselves up and move forward and truly leave no family behind?
Pick ourselves up and reform government?
Today I choose to move forward with my life and serve others.
I look forward to serving this district in Austin with integrity
and character based in love, forgiveness and grace.”

Grace who? Kelly?

“I am running for office to see if State government is as good
as the people it serves, and if it isn’t, we need to change it.
I admire politicians who reach across party lines to build
coalitions to get things done. Government should run like a
business where each department comes together for the good of
the whole so that the final product not only benefits the consumer;
but benefits the taxpayer and the citizen as well.
I value life where the rights of the individual is paramount.”

Well shut my mouth and call me Newt Gingrich.

“Collectively the sum of individuals make up the whole.
I favor a conservative approach to fiscal fitness that leans toward
paying what you can afford and as you go. Being financially
responsible today teaches our youth to be financially responsible tomorrow. I embrace a values oriented society that has its priorities in order – Faith, Family and Career and treating others with dignity
and operating by the Golden Rule.
Our society is in need of heroes and leaders.”

Let me guess who your Heroic Leader is.

“There are three major issues that will come to the forefront of this election: Education, Economy and Ethics. Other issues like transportation, crime and the environment will play equal parts as well. Family and Human Rights Issues unfortunately will still need to be brought into light as more and more women, children and minorities are disfavored and our rights are trampled upon by a limited agenda activist vocal elite of our society. Article 7, Section 1 of the Texas Constitution provides for an efficient system of public schools that are adequately funded. Robin Hood is not the answer.”

Oh sure he is.

” Texas corporations must be brought into the education process. By educating our children and capitalizing on energy Texas can be the strongest economy in the world.
Many people are unaware that the Gross Domestic Product of Texas is just under $ 1 Trillion Dollars, which in turn, accounts for nearly 10% of the entire economic output of the United States.”

Oh I’ll bet Dick Cheney knows.

“Two points on education: first, teachers must be adequately paid
for a job well done and be allowed to teach. Teachers jobs are being compromised because they are having to parent in the classroom.
We must return to a values system where the parents are not only cognizant, but actively participating in their children’s education.”

IOW Home Schooling, right?

“From an administration standpoint we need more English as a second language program. We furthermore need to empower non English speaking individuals by equipping them with the skills they will need to navigate and compete in corporate America.”

Easily the screed’s most hysterically funny line, that one.

“A better job can be done to integrate children of immigrants and prepare them for the economy of tomorrow. If our tax and education system isn’t overhauled disfavored minorities will continue to be marginalized and wealthier citizens will retreat further into seclusion.”

ie. Truly private quail shoots.

“A tax reform package that significantly provides more funding from the state for local education is in order. The current system is outdated and doesn’t keep up with today’s economy or inflation. It is still based on oil royalties which funded primary and secondary education in this State until oil companies went off-shore.”

Oh that addiction to foreign oil!

“For the sake of our future this system must be brought up to date.
Small business owners should work in tandem with large corporations to join in the education process of our youth. Many corporations in Texas are either off-shore or incorporated in other states. I applaud companies like Texas Instruments which is actively participating in the education process. Better educated students make more productive employees.”

Do I detect a stalking horse for Texas Instrument? How many other coroporations have uh. . .contributed?

” Our focus should be on retaining Texas students upon graduation
so that they want to remain in Texas as a part of the Texas workforce.

Our property tax system must be revisited and addressed in this next session. Our property owners are paying the highest tax rates in the nation and from an investment standpoint are receiving a negative return on their investment. A tax mix must take into consideration labor and capital intensive sources as well as the property tax.”

IOW Robin Hood in reverse.

“The day of senators and representatives hiding behind non recorded votes must end. It is the only way that Texans can have a voice and our government can be accountable.”

And we’d like to see statements from your presumably satisfied customers.

” In conclusion, I support the Constitution of the United States of America
which affords EQUAL protection under the law for ALL citizens.
I support the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which guarantees those rights.

I support legislation to protect ALL citizens from any form of
discrimination including: Age, Sex, Race, Ethnicity, Color,
Creed, Disability, National Origin, Sexual Orientation or Identity.”

Well now — isn’t that special? Not quite as special as THIS. But special nonthless. But it leaves us with one musical question– and answer. And it’s provided in my favorite political musical — by George and Ira.

“Why are people gay
All the night and day,
Feeling as they never felt before?
What is the thing
That makes them sing?

Rich man, poor man, thief,
Doctor lawyer, chief,
Feel a feeling that they can’t ignore!
It plays a part
In ev’ry heart,
And ev’ry hearts is shouting “Encore!”

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,*
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!

Spring is in the air-
Each mortal loves his neighbor.
Who’s that loving pair?
That’s Capital and Labors.

Chevrolet and Ford
Have felt this cosmic urging;
They with one accord,
Have kissed and now are merging.

Florida and Cal-
lifornia get together
In a “festival”
Of oranges and weather.

Boston’s upper zones
Are changing all their habits,
And I hear the Cohns
Are taking up the Cabots.

Taximen take dimes
And never curse the traffic,
While the “New York Times”
Adores the “New York Graphic.”

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!”