Daily Archives: June 5, 2006

President Low-Normal has spoken:

“Our policies should aim to strengthen families, not undermine them. And changing the definition of marriage would undermine the family structure,” said Bush, who raised the issue’s profile with an event at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building.

Originally the White House Rose Garden was to be the staging area for this “event,” but that was changed at the last minute. And the glorified photo-op was rushed through in that office building.

With no questions afterwards.

This of course left the press no recourse but to direct their queries to Pony Blow, who as it turns out was far from fully prepared to deal with them

“Q More than 8,000 same-sex couples have been married in Massachusetts. What threat do they pose? And what’s the president’s —
MR. SNOW: They don’t — this is not in response to a threat. This is merely a matter of trying to clarify what marriage ought to mean under the law. As you know, the people of Massachusetts, also by referendum, defined marriage as being between a man and a woman, and the Supreme Judicial Court decided to throw it out. And it remains a matter of contention.
I don’t think people look at this as a threat. It is trying to clarify what is an important and contentious cultural and legal issue.
Q With this — and let me just follow up.
MR. SNOW: Yeah.
Q With this to become a constitutional amendment, what legally then happens to those 8,000-plus same-sex couples? Are their marriages annulled?
MR. SNOW: That would have to require keener legal expertise than mine. I don’t want to try to —
Q The president doesn’t know what would happen?
MR. SNOW: No, the press secretary doesn’t know. (Laughter.)”

Nice distinction. But then disaster struck —

“Q Tony, I just wanted — on gay marriage again. You are almost portraying the president as being a passive participant in this; that the Senate is acting, so he’s speaking out.
MR. SNOW: Right.
Q In the gaggle, you suggested the media is over-hyping this issue.
MR. SNOW: Yeah.
Q Conservatives, like Tony Perkins, are saying it was the president who brought this up a lot during the 2004 campaign. Wasn’t he hyping it then? Why is the president being so passive?
MR. SNOW: I’m not going to characterize — I don’t think it’s passive. Again, the president has made clear what his views are. But, you know, this is one where I — I’m trying to figure out exactly how one decides when one is active and one is passive.”

Now can you feature that? “I’m trying to figure out exactly how one decides when one is active and one is passive.”

Tony can’t tell the Tops from the Bottoms!

Hey I thought you had Jeff Gannon on speed dial, tone. And if he’s “working” and can’t answer the phone, why not call up Adam Nagourney? I’m sure he’d be only too glad to help.
Why I can hear him singing to you right now–

“His name is Mister Snow
And an upstandin’ man is he
He comes home ev’ry night in his round-bottomed boat
With a net full of herring from the sea
An almost perfect beau
As refined as a girl could wish
But he spends so much time in his round-bottomed boat
That he can’t seem to lose the smell of fish
The fust time he kissed me, the whiff from his clo’es
Knocked me flat on the floor of the room
But now that I love him, my heart’s in my nose
And fish is my fav’rite perfume
Last night he spoke quite low
And a fair-spoken man is he
And he said, “Miss Pipperidge, I’d like it fine
If I could be wed with a wife
And, indeed, Miss Pipperidge, if you’ll be mine
I’ll be yours fer the rest of my life”
Next moment we were promised
And now my mind’s in a maze
Fer all I ken do is look forward to
That wonderful day of days…
When I marry Mister Snow
The flowers’ll be buzzin’ with the hum of bees
The birds’ll make racket in the churchyard trees
When I marry Mister Snow
Then it’s off to home we’ll go
And both of us’ll look a little dreamy-eyed
A drivin’ to a cottage by the oceanside
Where the salty breezes blow
He’ll carry me ‘cross the threshold
And I’ll be as meek as a lamb
Then he’ll set me on my feet
And I’ll say kinda sweet, “Well, Mister Snow, here I am!”
Then I’ll kiss him so he’ll know
That evry’thin’ll be as right as right ken be
A-livin’ in a cottage by the sea with me
For I love that Mister Snow
That young seafarin’,
Bold and darin’,
Big bewhiskered, overbearin’
Darling, Mister Snow!”

No you can’t play politics with love, Tone — as George and Ira sagely observed–

“Why are people gay
All the night and day,
Feeling as they never felt before?
What is the thing
That makes them sing?

Rich man, poor man, thief,
Doctor lawyer, chief,
Feel a feeling that they can’t ignore!
It plays a part
In ev’ry heart,
And ev’ry hearts is shouting “Encore!”

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,*
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!

Spring is in the air-
Each mortal loves his neighbor.
Who’s that loving pair?
That’s Capital and Labors.

Chevrolet and Ford
Have felt this cosmic urging;
They with one accord,
Have kissed and now are merging.

Florida and Cal-
lifornia get together
In a “festival”
Of oranges and weather.

Boston’s upper zones
Are changing all their habits,
And I hear the Cohns
Are taking up the Cabots.

Taximen take dimes
And never curse the traffic,
While the “New York Times”
Adores the “New York Graphic.”

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!”