Fait Divers: What Fresh Hell is Next?

Can the newsboys, Rose:

“Prosecutors abruptly dropped their case Monday against John Mark Karr in the slaying of JonBenet Ramsey, saying DNA tests failed to put him at the scene despite his repeated insistence he killed the 6-year-old beauty queen.”

Gasp! Clutch the pearls! How can this possibly be with everyone from Nancy Grace to Larry King to “famed psychic” Sylvia Browne picking their teeth in the wings ?

Yes after ten years the 6-year-old “beauty queen” (ie. child prostitute) like Generalissimo Francisco Franco is STILL DEAD !

Guess we’ll have to get back to less important news like Iraq, Afganistan, Lebanon, Katrina, et. al.

“The move came just a week and a half after the 41-year-old schoolteacher was arrested in Thailand and put on a plane to the U.S. in what was regarded as a remarkable break in the decade-old murder mystery that had cast suspicion on JonBenet’s parents.
District Attorney Mary Lacy said Karr emerged as a suspect in April after he began exchanging e-mails with a Colorado professor in which he admitted responsibility for the slaying.”

He didn’t “admit resonsibility,” he claimed responsibility — a big difference in a world where facts and logic mean something.But that’s no longer our world.

“According to court papers, Karr told the professor he accidentally killed JonBenet during sex and that he tasted her blood after he injured her vaginally. “

Oh yum.

“But officials at the Denver crime lab conducted DNA tests last Friday and failed to connect Karr to the crime.
“This information is critical because … if Mr. Karr’s account of his sexual involvement with the victim were accurate, it would have been highly likely that his saliva would have been mixed with the blood in the underwear,” Lacy said in court papers.”

Except that didn’t happen.

Except in the world of media “speculation” in which “sources close to the investigation suggest”

“Defense attorney Seth Temin expressed outrage that Karr was even arrested.
“We’re deeply distressed by the fact that they took this man and dragged him here from Bangkok, Thailand, with no forensic evidence confirming the allegations against him and no independent factors leading to a presumption he did anything wrong,” Temin said.”

But it was great TV, wasn’t it Binky? And it did the job it was designed to do: “Hey look over there!” At last the Department of Homeland Security (responsible for picking the freak up in Thailand) can claim a real victory.

I can’t imagine what they’ll come up with next.

Maybe Michael Jackson can finger-fuck Suri Cruise.

Sound good? Stay tuned and pass the Prawns!


1 comment

  1. Blue Gal August 29, 2006 11:42 am 

    You win a Don’t Sugarcoat It award for this one over at my place, hon.

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