Daily Archives: March 8, 2007

No surprise that alleged carbon-based life form Joan Walsh has elected to supply space in her cyberrag Salon for the latest Republican hooker in the news.

The “highlights”:

“Why did I become a conservative? Just look at what I left, and look at who is attacking me today. Let’s face it: Those on the left who now attack me would be defending me if I had espoused liberal causes and spoken out against the Iraq war before I was outed as a pseudo celebrity. They’d be talking about publishing my memoir and putting me on a diversity ticket with Barack Obama. Instead, those who complain about wire-tapping reserve the right to pry into my private life and my past for political brownie points.”

Oh that is SO true. Don’t you just know that Barack is sitting around with his advisors right this minute wondering “Why can’t I get the next Joey Stefano to back this campaign?”

“Sure, I had my picture taken with Ann Coulter. I don’t agree with what she said, but anyone in the military would defend her right to say it. I’m not apologizing for it. I’m also not going to claim I’m sorry for leaving a long-ago summer job off my curriculum vitae.”

So starring in Touched by an Anal was a “summer job”? Don’t you mean a Danny Sommers blowjob, dear?

“A lot things in my life don’t add up, but then I was never good at math. It’s just a part of my past, and as anyone who reflects on the past realizes, it contributes to who I am today. No apologies, just recognition. No running away, just moving forward.”

Don’t forget your pocket calculator! (So important for those with poor math skills.)

“I learned a lot at CPAC. I saw Jeff Gannon He seemed to be doing fine, despite the minor media scandal he endured. (When was that scandal anyway? It’s hard to keep track, because so many come and go so rapidly.)”

It was about his using the White House as a Whore House. Thanks to a bought-and-paid-for “mainstream” media we never found out who Gucky was fucking in the Lincoln bedroom, nor how much he was charging for the privilege.

And it’s doubtful we ever will, as Dubbya has declared the log of visitor comings and going (and comings) is off limits to public scrutiny.

“I am embarrassed to admit that was I worried that my fellow conservatives would distance themselves from me when the news about my film career broke. The opposite has happened.”

I’ll bet it has! No question David Drier (among countless others) has you on speed dial.

Ah yes, the Republican Party — So many male hustlers, so little time!