Of Thee I Pimp

Former NYT film critic Janet Maslin’s review of Bob Shrum’s non apologia pro vita sua is most amusing in its conviction of its own conventional wisdom.

“As a political operative with more than three decades’ experience in the trenches, Mr. Shrum finds nothing peculiar in bending the truth or writing as a ventriloquist. He just regrets that President Clinton shied away from delivering the Shrum version, and that the Clinton legacy was thus diminished by the president’s choice to deliver his own defiant lies instead of the more artful lies of a celebrated speechwriter.”

IOW, the pimp is resentful when the whore renegotiates the price.

“Welcome to the moral limbo of political consulting, as outlined in sometimes routine, sometimes scorching detail in Mr. Shrum’s memoir. Although his writing is curiously bereft of his foremost professional skills – gripping rhetorical structure and a broad vision of the political landscape – he illuminatingly outlines the calculations that go into campaigning. And if he writes with a prominent sense of his own access, prescience and importance, he also writes with real experience of political image-making.”

As Maslin well knows, that “prominent sense of his own access, prescience and importance” is the prized property of the fourth estate — Shrum’s “John.”

“Mr. Shrum recalls an Al Gore who undertook one of the most important debates of his life wearing hastily applied orange makeup, cranked up on protein energy bars and diet cola. “It was a recipe for hyperaggression,” Mr. Shrum writes, recalling one reason things went badly for Mr. Gore that day.”

“Badly,” how? As we’re not supposed to be paying attention to the little man behind the curtain, Maslin suavely obfuscates:

He also writes of Mr. Gore’s stretching the truth in ill-advised and unnecessary ways, as when he appeared on a Vanity Fair magazine cover touting global warming as “A Threat Graver Than Terrorism.” Mr. Shrum’s expert role was to realize that calling this “the ‘other’ great threat to our future” would have been a safer, smarter move.
The consultant’s job description, at least as set forth here, entails hoping the candidate is willing to be manipulated. It also means being ready to say anything, however untrue, when the candidate starts improvising. After Mr. Gore began claiming credit for a Shrum-written speech, Mr. Shrum thought he had to choose between making Mr. Gore look like a liar or simply lying himself.

Is that so? A candidate can actually deny the words he speaks by saying “Some speechwriter wrote this for me, I don’t really believe them (wink wink)”?

So he assured a reporter that Mr. Gore was “literally, truly and unquestionably” writing his own words. As he now acknowledges, it would have been possible to finesse this situation and still give an honest answer. “Everything in the speech reflects what he wanted in the speech,” his colleague Carter Eskew said of Mr. Gore, “if you know what I mean.”

Well I do, Al, but Maslin pretends she doesn’t.

Hey, isn’t that MoDow peering over her shoulder?

“For readers who hold any illusions about the political process, “No Excuses” cheerfully dispels them. Do you wonder why candidates often repeat themselves to avoid answering difficult questions? Did you imagine that Senator Lloyd Bentsen’s slap to Dan Quayle (“Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy”) happened spontaneously? Mr. Shrum discovered, from a column by Maureen Dowd in The New York Times, that Mr. Quayle was making Kennedy allusions. Then he wrote a great retort. Then came the rehearsing: “The moment was worded, practiced, and polished in the mock debates.” Then the line was delivered on television. And then the classic Shrum Spin kicked in.”

Yep, it was Dat Ol’ Michael Douglas-Fucker herself.

So fun when the NYT utilizes an invisible tag-team to dish out the gruel.

Meanwhile at the Daily News a review of Carl Bernstein’s contribution to the ever-groaning Hillary Bio Bookshelf notes —

“He [Bernstein] also argues that Hillary was responsible for a huge percentage of Bill’s nonwomen trouble in the White House, thanks to her inexperience and disdainful treatement of both the media and the rest of government.”

So nice when the truth slips out. The media (“mainstream” bien sur) is indeed a branch of government!

And now, a fearless prediction: Hillary Clinton will be our next President.

Really

There simply isn’t anybody else.

As Patient Less Than Zero notes in his blog (which I will never link to) as noted Mr. Sheri Annis in today’ Pravda :

“Clinton cannot concede anything critical about someone she called at one point ‘my dear husband.’ Yes, I gagged on that one. What a total phony. But an effective, shameless one.”

It takes one to know one — doesn’t it dear?

Now about that Campaign Song, Hillary claims to be looking for — isn’t it obvious that George and Ira wrote it years ago?

The best version, by the late, great Larry Kert, can be found here.

But if you know the tune (and I’m sure most of you do) then Sing Out Louise!

“Why are people gay
All the night and day,
Feeling as they never felt before?
What is the thing
That makes them sing?

Rich man, poor man, thief,
Doctor lawyer, chief,
Feel a feeling that they can’t ignore!
It plays a part
In ev’ry heart,
And ev’ry hearts is shouting “Encore!”

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,*
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!

Spring is in the air-
Each mortal loves his neighbor.
Who’s that loving pair?
That’s Capital and Labors.

Chevrolet and Ford
Have felt this cosmic urging;
They with one accord,
Have kissed and now are merging.

Florida and Cal-
lifornia get together
In a “festival”
Of oranges and weather.

Boston’s upper zones
Are changing all their habits,
And I hear the Cohns
Are taking up the Cabots.

Taximen take dimes
And never curse the traffic,
While the “New York Times”
Adores the “New York Graphic.”

Love is sweeping the country!
Waves are hugging the shore;
All the sexes
From Maine to Texas
Have never known such love before.

See them billing and cooing
Like the birdies above!
Each girl and boy alike,
Sharing joy alike,

Feels that passion’ll
Soon be national.
Love is sweeping the country!
There never was so much love!”

1 comment

  1. Mooser June 11, 2007 5:38 pm 

    Hilary, you is my woman now, you is, you is!

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