Daily Archives: August 8, 2007

Oh Prunella!

“The newly-elected president of the Young Republican National Federation , Glenn Murphy, has stepped down as the group’s president less than a month after being elected to the post at the group’s convention in Florida last month amid a sex scandal involving him, which may prove as embarrassing to the national Republican Party as the Mark Foley scandal did during last year’s congressional elections. Murphy, who also serves as chairman of the Clark Co. Republicans, has been viewed as a rising star in the Indiana and national GOP. His consulting firm has advised congressional candidates like that of former U.S. Rep. Mike Sodrel (R). He is fond of using divisive wedge issues, such as gay marriage, to promote his candidates. Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels once said of Murphy: “Glenn Murphy is one of the most well-respected Republican leaders in Indiana. His media savvy and grassroots skills helped transform Southeast Indiana from a Democrat stronghold to a Republican growth area. He shoots for the ‘impossible’, and more often than not, he succeeds. I wholeheartedly endorse Glenn Murphy for Chairman of the Young Republican National Federation and his team for national leadership.”

Looks like some cum shots are impossible.

In a shocking police report filed by the Clark Co. Sheriff’s office, Murphy is accused of sexually assaulting another man on July 29, 2007, while he lay sleeping in his bed. The alleged assault of the 22-year-old man took place in the Jeffersonville, Indiana home of his sister following a Young Republican party in which both Murphy and the 22-year-old man had been in attendance. The victim’s sister had urged both men to spend the night at her home because of the amount of alcohol the two had consumed during the party. The victim awoke in the morning to find Murphy performing oral sex on him according to the report. When the victim asked Murphy what he was doing, he responded: “He was holding his dick with one hand and sucking my dick with his mouth.” The victim then pushed Murphy away, gathered his personal belongings and left. Murphy was later confronted with the charges by the victim’s sister according to the report. The sister says Murphy admitted to her that he performed the sex act on her brother. Taking Down Words reports Murphy is being charged with criminal deviate conduct, a Class B felony. The police report also notes that Murphy was accused of committing a very similar act on another man back in 1998. It is unclear why Murphy was not prosecuted for the 1998 incident.

So nice that Murphy’s lawyer has supplied a statement to, uh. . .clear things up.

“On behalf of Mr. Murphy I would point out several things:
1. Mr. Murphy has not been arrested nor has he been charged with a crime.
2. Mr. Murphy contends that the events that took place that evening were as between two consenting adults.
3. Mr. ——- and his sister taped, without Mr. Murphy’s knowledge, their exchange. Mr. ——- did not inform the police of the existence of the tape. We informed the police of the existence of the tape in order to make sure that the police had all of the evidence.
4. At no time was Mr. ——- ever asked to forgo making a police report. In fact, Mr. ——- was informed that if he felt a crime occurred he should make a report.
5. The 1998 report was a public record. The allegations in 1998 were investigated and no action was taken. Upon the determination that the 1998 incident was closed the report became a public record.
6. It is very disappointing that the police report was leaked to the press. This is an ongoing criminal investigation. The report is not a public record. The act of leaking the report compromises the ability of the police to conduct their investigation. The act of leaking the report was clearly an effort to deny Mr. Murphy the opportunity to have a fair, unbiased chance to defend these allegations.
7. I am not a Republican. I am an attorney who represents clients. In fact, my wife has served as a Democrat elected official for sixteen (16) years having just been re-elected. This is not a partisan issue. This is an issue of fairness and due process. Neither of these know party affiliation, race, creed or religion. We all, both Democrats and Republicans, should embrace them and hope that, if ever in these same shoes, no one decides to trample these to impugn us before the process has been allowed to proceed.
I will not respond to any posts. I will not review this blog again. I only provide this information at the request of my client.
Thank You.
Larry O. Wilder
Attorney at Law
530 East Court Ave.
Jeffersonville, In. 47130″

Translation: “Back in ’98 we were able to pay them off.”

Why that hasn’t been possible now is open to question — as are how many other noctural cocksucking incidents Mr. Murphy may have been involved in over the past nine years.

So what is to be done? Don’t invite Republicans to sleep over. But if you must and find yourself in the situation of “Mr. ——- ” here are ten suggestions for what to do if calling the cops just isn’t your thing.

10. Ask him if a large black man is following him.

9. Explain the advantages of having his own electric toothbrush

8. “What about that Barry Bonds, eh?”

7. Tell him that you’re saving yourself for Anderson Cooper

6. Play a Clay Aiken CD really loud.

5. Play the Anyone Can Whistle original cast recording really loud.

4. Ask him if he thinks Liza or Glenn Close should star in the movie version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Sunset Boulevard.

3. “No floss, no cum!”

2. Offer him 20 dollars — to stop.

1. Tell him you’re a member of the Gay Mafia and that if he doesn’t stop “David, Barry, Sandy, Calvin and Ross will be dealing with you.”