MoDo Goes Muffdiving

That Maureen Dowd is completely unhinged has been obvious for
quite some time. But In her latest NYT Op-ED she scales new heights of paranoia, bringing to mind Camille Paglia in a remake of Das Blaue Licht.

And as might be expected, it’s all Hillary’s fault.

“The debate dominatrix knows how to rattle Obambi.
Mistress Hillary started disciplining her fellow senator last winter, after he began exploring a presidential bid. When he winked at her, took her elbow and tried to say hello on the Senate floor, she did not melt, as many women do. She brushed him off, a move meant to remind him that he was an upstart who should not get in the way of her turn in the Oval Office.
He was so shook up, he called a friend to say: You would not believe what just happened with Hillary.
She has continued to flick the whip in debates.”

Clearly MoDo is projecting — recalling some past instance when a pesky male (Michael Douglas perchance?) tried to take her aside for “a word.” Oh how she’s longed for a whip to discipline such lesser carbon-based life forms. Just like the one Barbara Stanwyck wielded in Sam Fuller’s immortal Forty Guns.

But much as she’s love to be, MoDo is no Barbara Stanwyck.

In fact she’s no Barbara Eden.

“She usually ignores Obama and John Edwards backstage, preferring to chat with the so-called second-tier candidates. And she often looks so unapproachable while they’re setting up on stage that Obama seems hesitant to be the first to say hi.
With so much at stake, she had to do it again in Vegas, this time using her voice, gaze and body language to such punishing effect that Obama looked as if he had been brought to heel. “

See? Hillary’s just like that other Barbara

“It was a mesmerizing display, and at an event that drew the highest television ratings of any primary debate this year. The momentum Obama had gained from a vivid speech at the Jefferson-Jackson Day dinner in Iowa drained away by the end of the first half-hour.
Other guys, like Rudy, wouldn’t even be looking for a chance to greet Hillary, as Obama always does. Other guys, like Rudy, wouldn’t care if she iced them.
But she can tell that Obama does care, that he doesn’t want her to not like him or be mad at him, that he responds to the sort of belittling treatment that she sometimes dished out to her husband and his male aides at the White House, yelling at them and calling them wimps if they disappointed her.”

Obviously MoDo’s been re-reading Atlas Shrugged again. A dog-earred copy she’s treasured since High School, I’ll wager.

“Obama may be responsive to Hillary’s moods because he lives with another strong woman who knows how to keep him in line. Michelle said she let her husband run for president only when he agreed to give up smoking, and she’s a master at the art of the loving conjugal put-down.”

Once the Writer’s Strike is over ABC might consider hiring MoDo to write Women’s Castration Club.

“When Hillary walked onstage Thursday, Obama stood to her left waiting to shake hands and say hi, as he and Edwards had done with Chris Dodd. She turned her body away, refused to meet his eyes and froze him out. Again. And he looked taken aback. Again.
For the rest of the night she owned him.”

Very Susan George.

” He was so off his game that he duplicated her dithering performance from the last debate on the issue of whether illegal immigrants should get driver’s licenses. After a tortured exchange with Wolf Blitzer, he ended up saying he favored it – one more sign that the law professor is oblivious to the visceral nature of campaigns.
Hillary brazenly leapt away from that politically devastating position and said she didn’t support the licenses anymore. And Obama didn’t even call her out on her third reversal on the matter.
She was willing to absorb the flip-flop criticism to cut her losses on an issue that could have dragged her to defeat in the general election.
Obama and Edwards, who both seemed shaken by a few seconds of pro-Hillary booing, let the front-runner set a ludicrous standard: that any criticism of her shifts on issues is “mudslinging” and a character attack.”

Enter The Prince of Darkness, stage right.

“She is a control freak – that’s why her campaign tried to coach wonky Iowa voters to ask wonky questions – and her male rivals are letting her take control.
The Democrats should not be afraid to mix it up now, while they have a chance, and get all the doubts and disputes out on the table. Taking some flak clearly made Hillary stronger.
If Rudy’s the nominee, he will go with relish to all the vulnerable places in Hillary’s past. At the Federalist Society on Friday, he had barely spoken the word “she” before the audience began tittering appreciatively.”

Yes folks, that’s the bottom line: “She — Who Must Be Obeyed !”.

Needless to say, neither Hillary nor MoDo have a scintilla of the Pink Lady’s je ne sais quoi as is painfully obvious from the latter’s dissing of the Magic Negro’s lack of MoJo :

“He went through a whole faux- bemused riff on Hillary’s driver’s license twists without ever uttering her name: “First, she was for the idea, and supported Governor Spitzer, who wanted to give driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. Then she was against the idea. Then she was for and against the idea. And then finally she said it should be decided on a state-by-state basis. This is the only time in her career that she’s ever decided anything should be decided on a state-by-state basis. You know something? She picked out absolutely the wrong one. Right? I mean, this is one of the areas that is given to the federal government to deal with under our Constitution, the borders of the United States, immigration.”
Rudy laced his speech with faith references, including the assertion that America has “a divinely inspired role in the world” and a mission to “save a civilization from Islamic terrorism.”
Hillary has her work cut out for her. Rudy will not be so easy to spank.”

And neither will Hillary no matter how much MoDo wants to part those beef curtains.

Staying cool, calm and collected, Hillary would be advised to take her cue from Helen Gahagan and soulfully intone my all-time favorite movie line —

“Oh you haunters of the dark — how you try my patience.”

As for MoDo, put away your Alice Rosenbaum dear. Try Patricia Highsmith instead.

3 Comments

  1. proudprogressive November 22, 2007 2:23 pm 

    Modo continues to “go around the bend, once again..what a tool !

    Hey Dave, Happy Holidays to you and yours. Thanks for …well being you.

    fondly -prog

  2. David E November 22, 2007 3:19 pm 

    You’re welcome.

    And now, here are some lovely Thanksgiving Day thoughts from Everyon’e Favorite Historian, Ward Churchill:

    “Thanksgiving is the day the United States celebrates the fact that the Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony successfully avoided starvation during the winter of 1620-21. But from an American Indian perspective, what is it we’re supposed to be so thankful for? Does anyone really expect us to give thanks for the
    fact that soon after the Pilgrim Fathers regained their strength, they set out to dispossess and exterminate the very Indians who had fed them that
    first winter? Are we to express our gratitude for the colonists’ 1637 massacre of the Pequots at Mystic, Conn., or their rhetoric justifying the butchery by comparing Indians to “rats and mice and swarms of lice”? Or should we be joyous about the endless series of similar slaughters that followed: at St. Francis (1759), Horseshoe Bend (1814), Bad Axe (1833), Blue Water (1854), Sand Creek (1864), Marias River (1870), Camp Robinson (1878) and Wounded Knee (1890), to name only the worst? Should we be thankful for the scalp bounties paid by every English Colony — as well as every U.S. state
    and territory in the lower 48 – for proof of the deaths of individual Indians, including women and children?
    How might we best show our appreciation of the order issued by Lord Jeffrey Amherst in 1763, requiring smallpox-infested items be given as gifts to the Ottawas so that “we might extirpate this execrable race”? Is it reasonable to assume that we might be jubilant that our overall population, numbering perhaps 15 million at the outset of the European invasion, was reduced to less than a quarter-million by 1890? Maybe we should be glad the “peaceful settlers” didn’t kill the rest of us outright. But they didn’t really need to, did they? By 1900, they already had 98 percent of our land. The remaining Indians were simply dumped in the mostly arid and unwanted locales, where it was confidently predicted that we’d shortly die off altogether, out of sight and mind of the settler society. We haven’t died off yet, but we comprise far and away the most impoverished, malnourished and disease-ridden population on the continent today. Life expectancy on many reservations is about 50 years; that of Euroamericans more than 75. We’ve also endured a pattern of cultural genocide during the 20th century. Our children were processed for generations through government boarding schools designed to “kill the Indian” in every child’s consciousness and to replace Native traditions with a “more enlightened” Euroamerican set of values and understandings. Should we feel grateful for the disastrous
    self-concept thereby fostered within our kids? Are we to be thankful that their self-esteem is still degraded every day on cable television by a constant bombardment of recycled Hollywood Westerns and television segments presenting Indians as absurd and utterly dehumanized caricatures?
    Should we tell our children to find pride in the sorts of insults to which we are subjected to as a matter of course: Tumbleweeds cartoons, for instance, or the presence of Chief Wahoo and the Redskins in Professional sports? Does anybody really believe we should feel honored by such things, or by place names like Squaw Valley and Squaw Peak? “Squaw,” after all, is the Onondaga word for female genitalia. The derogatory effect on Native women should be quite clear. About three-quarters of all adult Indians suffer alcoholism and/or other forms of substance abuse. This is not a “genetic condition.” It is a desperate, collective attempt to escape our horrible reality ince “America’s Triumph.”

    It’s no mystery why Indians don’t observe Thanksgiving. The real question is why do you feast rather than fast on what should be a national day of mourning and atonement. Before digging into your turkey and dressing on Nov.23, you might wish to glance in a mirror and see if you can come up with an answer.”

  3. proudprogressive November 24, 2007 5:48 pm 

    I adore Ward Churchhill ! cool quote , Dave. Your mind works in mysterious ways. He was right about the little Eichman phrase taken out of context by the media. Shoot even 75 yr old Chalmers Johnson who wrote the trilogy Blowback , Sorrows of Empire, and Nemesis – mentions Eichman (sp) and the fact that one reason the public is failing so miserably in this barreling empire , over reaching militarily and economically is because like Eichman – many have just stopped thinking. He Chalmers is a hero of mine. A professor, a former CIA advisor and real truth teller when it comes to the fact the usa has over 700 -1000 bases all over at least 130 countries. Knowing that much , when george the lesser asks for more money – the only answer” the congressional industrial complex” (that was Eisenhower’s orignal forewarning by the way..the CONGRESSIONAL industrial complex – they made him take out the word “congress” –
    anyhow i say – close a few bases, close a few golf courses on the bases, do an audit Pentagon – find the money you already have practically the whole pie. And yeah – I do not take any relish in thanksgiving particulary – I prefer fact to fiction. And practice gratitude daily – I also found Howard Zinn to be a great place to start for the REAL people’s history of the usa, from 1492 on. Yes we need a national day of Atonement ..no doubt about it.

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