Monthly Archives: March 2011

A darkly amusing item popped up on the “Entertainment” pages of Pravda today.

“Now here’s a date in traffic court we’d like to attend: In the matter of Antonin Scalia and the George Washington Parkway pileup.”

Scalia

“The Supreme Court justice was ticketed early Tuesday for his role in a four-car fender-bender. No injuries to anyone but the cars — including Scalia’s, which had to be towed.
The accident happened just before 9 a.m. on what was to be a big day for the jurist: The nation’s highest court was hearing arguments in the massive Wal-Mart gender discrimination case. According to U.S. Park Police, Scalia was driving south on the parkway approaching Roosevelt Bridge when he rear-ended a car that had stopped for traffic, triggering a chain reaction.”

Tony has so much on his mind, ya know. How can he be expected to drive?

Well yes, but still. . .

“Brooke Salkoff saw it all go down. The former NBC reporter told us she was just behind Scalia’s vehicle, a shiny black BMW in the left lane. “It slammed into the car in front of his, which pushed the other two forward,” and caused them all to skew into the right lane, she said.
Now, just as when you’re in a fancy restaurant and everyone turns their head to see who walked in, it’s only natural that everyone driving along a major commuter route out of McLean would want to rubberneck at something like this. Salkoff did, as her car inched past, and was rewarded by a surprising glimpse of a familiar face. Scalia was in a dress shirt, no jacket, with an unknotted bowtie hanging around his neck — and, interestingly enough, turned out to be driving himself. The car in front of his appeared pretty badly banged up, the other two less so. Scalia made it to the bench, though, in time for arguments at 10 a.m., a court spokeswoman said.”

Well that’s a relief!

No doubt in Salkoff’s mind that Scalia was at fault, as the driver who failed to brake. “I think that’s an originalist interpretation,” she quipped. Indeed, said the Park Police’s Sgt. David Schlosser, the justice got a ticket for following too closely. Fine: $70, plus a $20 special assessment, or, said Schlosser, “he can contest it in court.”

Hey — he can ignore the whole thing. He’s one of the Supremes, isn’t he? That makes him Above the Law, right?

Consider the case of the late unlamented Novakula (1931-2009)

Novak

who the years before his passing had, as Wonkette noted at the time, a tad of traffic trouble too.

“Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the crosswalk and had a green walk signal.
The man flew over the hood and over the windshield of Novak’s black Corvette before rolling off to the street. Novak sped away, but was chased by a lawyer on a bicycle.
[David] Bono said the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a “Walk” signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and then Novak made a right into the service lane of K Street. “The car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.
The assault was also witnessed by “a WJLA-TV crew and reporter,” according to the Politico.
The cops got him and threw him in jail forever. Ha ha, not really. They gave him a ticket for “failing to yield” and let him go. The unidentified 66-year-old victim is in the hospital.
Novak once told the Washington Post that he hated “jaywalkers” and wanted to run them all over.”

Mr. Bono wasn’t a jaywalker. But what does that matter? After all Novakula wasn’t a journalist, but a goevrnment operative — a conduit of lies that served Dubbya well in his adminsitration’s attack on Valerie Plame and Joseph Wilson for daring to tell the truth about Iraq and its lack of “Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

Well, as Edward Albee would say, that’s all just blood under the bridge, isn’t it?

Sing us out Pauley