Daily Archives: April 1, 2011

pope

Holy Porno!

“Fans of antique erotica, rejoice. The world’s largest collection of pornography is about to be published on the web. Just make sure you have a credit card handy.
The Vatican Secret Archives announced yesterday plans to digitise a previously unacknowledged collection of prohibited materials.
Kept hidden by an act of pontifical secrecy, the items, once decreed obscene, are being unveiled as part of a new papal directive on transparency.
The collection includes tens of thousands of drawings, frescoes, engravings, artifacts, and ephemera dating from the Reniassance back to classical antiquity.
Included in the materials available for a free but censored preview are an illuminated manuscript depicting the Song of Solomon and several illustrations of Mary Magdalene.”

You mean there’s no

Cal

And no

Joey

Surely there’s some

( a Major Fave of the Holy See, my sources tell me)

Costs and pricing for full access to the online collection have not been finalized. Income generated from paying subscribers will be set aside in a special account administered by the Catholic Church.
The account will be used to reimburse losses by churches that have decalred bankruptcy to eliminate their obligation to pay court judgements in sexual abuse cases.
Government, Industry Experts to Oversee Project
Funding for the collection’s digitisation has been procured via an executive order from Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, who has expressed a strong interest in “protecting our priceless cultural heritage.” Berlusconi has appointed a confidential liaison to oversee the process.
Age verification, credit card processing, and acount maintenance will be run by adult entertainment magnate Larry Flint.”

Souldn’t age verification, credit card processing, and acount maintenance be overseen by Chi-Chi Larue?

The Johnny Depp Clones will sing us out.