Surely the facts are finger-lickin’ good!
“ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its new Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu sandwich that would be on sale in all of the company’s 1,600 restaurants this Wednesday.
In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.
“The Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is our company’s way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values,” said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. “From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”
“Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right with a No Fudge Packin’ Soft Serve Cone,” Gary added. “I can’t think of a better way to follow up a sandwich this good.”
While the release of the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu has led to anger from pro-gay rights groups, loyal Chick-fil-A customers claim they are happy they can finally enjoy a sandwich that takes a firm stance on the issue of homosexuality.
“Any sandwich that combines that great Chick-fil-A flavor with a hefty dose of vitriolic homophobia is definitely going to keep me coming back for more,” said Atlanta customer John Oaks. “Come Wednesday, I’m going to be first in line for this thing.”
According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie.”
Oh those scamps at The Onion — aren’t they a caution?
But you’ve got to admit it’s hard to seprate truth from sature when you’re dealing withe THIS Bozo
But Dan, you forgot to mention Chick-fil-A’s most important ingredient.
“Isn’t cleanness next to Godliness? We know the ultra-religious CEO of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy, is against gay marriage for the bible told him so. Just how far does his conviction go? Does he literally interpret all parts of Bible including death for those who curse their mother or father, don’t cut their hair at the sides, eat shrimp, wear linen and cotton and so on? From what I can gather he just seems to be against the gays. The only time his company makes news is when he spews his anti-gay rhetoric.
You would think the CEO of a company with $4 billion in sales would keep his mouth shut. Does anyone know who the CEO of McDonald’s, Burger King, Pizza Hunt or Wendy’s is let alone what their personal beliefs are? These CEOs are concentrating on making their businesses better. One would think that Cathy’s Chic-Fil-As are running very well for him to spend so much time on what people are doing in their bedrooms.
But a quick search of the internet found that some restaurants in the chain aren’t so pure. A review of various health inspection reports found some very disturbing health violations for Chick-Fil-A over the years:
In a Florida Chick-Fil-A, an inspector found 44 live roaches and 20 dead roaches among other violations. (Source: Sun-Sentinel)
Another restaurant in Florida had a particularly gross violation: ”Raw animal food stored with ready-to-eat food. And raw fish with ice cream.” (Source: City Data)
In a New York City Chick-Fil-A an inspector’s report indicates: “Filth flies or food/refuse/sewage-associated (FRSA) flies present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas.”
A Oklahoma Chick-Fil-A was sited for: “Evidence of Rodent/Insect Contamination/Other Animals..” (Source City Data)
From the brief search I did the restaurants reviewed had violations from ready-to-eat food stored at improper temperatures to slime in the interior of ice machines. It seems like Mr. Cathy should be keeping a closer eye on his business rather than demagoguing about his narrow minded beliefs.
As adamant as Mr. Cathy is about the Bible I’m just as emphatic about food safety. Someone might ask: Am I a clean freak? I’d say, “Guilty as charged!”
Mr. Cathy, being such a religious person, probably is too. So it’s our duty as good Christians to make people aware of the unsanitary condition at any Chick-Fil-A restaurant. So feel free to comment, post and tweet any infraction that would endanger God’s flock.”
Do Harold and Kumar know about this?
not to mention —
Still this is nothing compared to the enthusiasm Mike Huckabee and his Plus Size brood
(gee, usually stripes are just so slimming)
show towards Chick-fil-A
More than even pork chops
“I have been incensed at the vitriolic assaults on the Chick Fil-A
company because the CEO, Dan Cathy, made comments recently in which he affirmed his view that the Biblical view of marriage should be upheld. The Cathy family, let by Chick Fil-A founder Truett Cathy, are a wonderful Christian family who are committed to operating the company with Biblical principles and whose story is the true American success story. Starting at age 46 Truett Cathy built Chick Fil-A into a $4 billion a year enterprise with over 1600 stores. At 91, he is still active in the company, but his son Dan runs it day to day as CEO.It’s a great American story that is being smeared by vicious hate speech and intolerant bigotry from the left.”
Which doesn’t know enough to sit quietly and allow itself to be showered with insults and death threats.
“The Chick Fil-A company refuses to open on Sundays so that their employees can go to church if they wish. Despite the pressure from malls, airports, and the business world to open on Sundays, they still don’t. They treat customers and employees with respect and dignity.”
So long as they’re straight white Christians.
“I ask you to join me in speaking out on Wednesday, August 1 “Chick Fil-A Appreciation Day.” No one is being asked to make signs, speeches, or openly demonstrate. The goal is simple: Let’s affirm a business that operates on Christian principles and whose executives are willing to take a stand for the Godly values we espouse by simply showing up and eating at Chick Fil-A on Wednesday, August 1. Too often, those on the left make corporate statements to show support for same sex marriage, abortion, or profanity, but if Christians affirm traditional values, we’re considered homophobic, fundamentalists, hate-mongers, and intolerant. This effort is not being launched by the Chick Fil-A company and no one from the company or family is involved in proposing or promoting it.”
Oh I’m SO sure that’s true.
“There’s no need for anyone to be angry or engage in a verbal battle. Simply affirm appreciation for a company run by Christian principles by showing up on Wednesday, August 1 or by participating online – tweeting your support or sending a message on Facebook.
PLEASE RSVP IF YOU PLAN ON PARTICIPATING AT A CHICK FIL-A OR ONLINE.”
Hey Mike — here’s a song you should put in your repetoire
THIS JUST IN!
the author of this paen to Chick-fil-A
Take it away Pets!